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dogbusonline.com presents... Saddam Pleads Emo(tional)
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www.dogbusonline.com
With the knowledge that all hope is lost in Baghdad, Saddam Hussein has taken a decidedly different tactic from his previous defiant attitude in court. Donning what could only be described as "Emotional Glasses", Saddam has entered a plea as "Emo" for his actions involving the rounding up and killing of 143 men in Dujail, a Shia village north of Baghdad.
"I wanted a girl who would laugh for no one else." Saddam claimed. "When I was away, I wanted her makeup put on the shelf." As tears flowed down the once brutal dictator's cheek, he mumbled. "Unfortunately, her hair was everywhere. Screaming infidelities and taking its wear." He paused and explained, "That means that I suspect she was being unfaithful to me."
Teenage boys all around the Western World are pouring out support for a man they once picketed the White House in protest against. "Ever since he put on those black-rimmed glasses, I've been starting to feel for the man," said Quentin Angstwank, who also wears emo-spectacles. The overly emotional young adults of the west have started "Cry Groups" in support of Mr. Hussein.
"Every Sunday we get together and just let it out." Explains Noel Easytease of Seattle, Washington. "We get some acoustic guitars, sing in horribly whiny voices and create metaphors about our ex-girlfriends that all somehow relate to the pain our emotional brother is going through."
Saddam Hussein, meanwhile, is battling for his life. Fighting back tears that seem to now flow like wussyboy waterfalls, he again tries to defend himself in court: "Don't you see, don't you see? That this chaaaaraaade, is over?" he whines at the judges.
For emotionful teenaged boys across the Western world, being emo has been a successful excuse for not doing homework, being rude to parents, and recording really bad screamo music in suburban basements. Whether it will work as the main defence for a genocidal warmonger symbolized by a simple pair of glasses, well… that's for five wacky Iraqi judges and one bad-tempered stenographer to decide!
OIiemon + Furious P
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